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Age of Paradox

President Obama to create mandatory civil service for youth:
"Everybody somewhere between the ages of 18-25 will serve 3 months of basic training..."
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In a way, Obama is like God!

Please remember that mental retardation is not a crime.  Janeane Garafolo and Keith Olbermichaelmooreman are free to say what they want.  Personally, I enjoy their musings.  But then again, as a conservative who recently attended a Tea Party, my frontal lobe is apparently swollen!  So what do I know???

Liberals pledge to live a more virtuous life by serving Barack Obama.  But one might ask, did they do the same for President Bush?
(Read the excellent article as well)

Democrat Finally Reveals Real Intention - Socialism

What Will His Flock Do?

Public Schools, Fair and Balanced!

Voter thinks Barack will pay her mortgage!
("Just keep those contributions coming in, honey.  I'll take care of ya!")

I'm sorry, let me wipe that snot off of you!"

Good Old Barney admits his passion for spending.
Promises to raise tyranny on the wealthy.

A Wish We Can Believe In?

Jesus was a carpenter.
Could the Messiah be a Community Organizer?

Lest Anyone Be Unclear:

 

Did you know that Obama is the very first black senator?  Oh that's right, he's isn't!  But he is the only black senator at the moment.  And that's quite an accomplishment!

Something Funny - Something Creepy

Because of Obama, my oatmeal tastes better with raisins!

NEEDLES

June, 2009

• ABC News has its head so far up Obama's ass they have decided to move into his living room!  cite
   

• Did you know that god fired the inspector general of the United States?  Do you know why?  Because the inspector investigated one of god's buddies, Kevin Johnson.  God is a bad guy.  cite
  
   

• Homosexuals are mad at god.  God has decided not repeal the Defense of Marriage Act as promised in his campaign to become president of the United States.  cite
   

• When god passed the massive stimulus bill, wracking up trillions of dollars in debt, he promised that unemployment wouldn't top 8%.  It's at 9.4%.  This prompted VP Biden to apologize.  cite 
   

• God and his disciples are crafting a new socialized medical plan.  They will tax the hell out of you.  cite
   

• God has decided to punish the tobacco industry even more.  cite
   

• ...and then came wage control.  cite
   

• When John McCain selected Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin, to be his running mate in 2008, the left/media went to work to culturally destroy her.  To date, Palin has done nothing wrong in the least bit.  She is an accomplished and respectable American woman who was innocently asked to be a vice presidential candidate.  But that didn't stop David Letterman - a known leftist - from calling her "slutty" and joking that her 14 year old daughter got "knocked up" at a baseball game.  He further suggests that she would not be qualified to be president because of supposed bad parenting.  What an a-hole.  cite
   

• Stormy Weather
  
   

• God intends to borrow more cash to pay for a new national health care program.  cite
   

• God is a liar - This is no longer speculation.  In the latest example, the historically black president said that the record surpluses in the 90's were due to a "pay-as-you-go" fiscal policy.  Lie.  cite
   

• Could this be the best headline of the year?
  "Love or lust, Obama and the fawning press need to get a room"  cite
   

• We are in a bad economy and jobs are being lost by the bucket load.  Yet, Barack needs to sustain his image as the savior of the universe.  So what does he do?  He invents a new expression to insinuate he is tackling the recession - "jobs saved".  cite
   

• Barack Hussein Obama has made a pilgrimage to "the Muslim world" to apologize for our cruel behavior, attitude, and culture.  He assured that America is a Muslim country and won't ever stereotype Islam, even if planes are hijacked by extremists and slammed into our cities.
   

• GM has filed for bankruptcy.  Tax payers have already shelled out billions of dollars to sustain the company and the government is now the majority owner.  But don't worry, Obama, that is, Mr. Spread the Wealth, insists the company will keep full control over its own future.  Yah.
   

• Some people are upset that Obama spent big bucks to attend a show in New York City.  Wait until they get the bill for his other plans.  cite

May, 2009

• The veil is coming off our President's ideological roots.  Watch
   

• During the 2008 presidential campaign Borat repeatedly claimed that he would "CUT" taxes for 95% of Americans.  Now that he holds power and is spending like a drunk liberal, the goofball is mulling a national sales tax to fund his spree.  But will it replace the current system or be another liberal add on??  cite
   

• Looks like North Korea has a nuke now.  This is a good time for another Obama speech to say how terrible Bush was.
   

• Obama senses that his philosophy of an apologetic national security is hurting his image. He is responding the only way he knows how, by giving a "major" speech to say how terrible America was under President Bush.  I think we get it already, fella; You're wonderful because Mr. Bush was so bad.
   

• Obama got a slap in the face by his own beloved Democrats when they refused to fund his senseless plan to close the Guantanamo prison and bring the enemies of war to our homeland.  cite
   

• The infant president has been working hard to release top secret photos of terrorist interrogations.  However, the astute infant has learned that it would be politically disadvantageous, not to mention a national security blunder.  He called off the dogs.  cite
   

• It is confirmed that Obama's budget is approaching 2 trillion dollars, the highest in history, four times that of President Bush.  What was the justification coming from the White House?  Well... uhm... uh... you see, it is Bush's fault once again!  cite
   

• Comedy has a way of revealing kernels of truth.  This year's gathering of crackpot liberals - the White House Correspondent's Dinner - yielded truth when unfunny comedian Wanda Sykes exclaimed that she wanted Rush Limbaugh to die of liver failure.  She further distorted Rush's comments about how he wishes Obama's radical ideology would fail.  So what truth was revealed this evening?  I suggest the following:

  • Liberals are basking in the glow of power and can barely contain themselves.

  • The media and the Obama administration are one in the same.

  • Liberals came to power, in part, by defaming President Bush.  They need to continue this defamation, and extend it to Limbaugh, in order to sustain the Obama phenomenon.  This explains the continual drip of "don't blame me" coming out of the White House.
     

• President Obama has instructed his army (the media) to communicate that he is making "tough cuts" in the budget.  He is boldly, courageously, and heroically eliminating 19 billion dollars in programs.  Well, that is, after ballooning the budget to 1.8 trillion, four times President Bush's budget.  But hey, don't ask questions.  Keeping up with this genius is not easy to do.  cite
   

• Liberal fascism is not just an American phenomenon.  England has banned radio host Michael Savage from the country because he hasn't fallen in line with the prevailing cultural winds.  Savage is particularly known for his sharp criticism of radical Islam.  But oh, his crimes are much worse than that!  England's Home Secretary says, "abhorrent views on immigration, Islam, rape and autism, which have caused great offence".  There has got to be an Obama connection here.  cite
   

• The State of Texas is on the verge of passing legislation to make murder a smalltime offense, punishable by a short jail sentence.  What's the catch?  The victim - yes, the VICTIM - has to be a baby less than a year old... oh, and the mother has to be suffering from "the effects of child birth".  True story.  We live in strange times.  Read
   

• (Trumpets Blaring!)  Someone in the media has finally busted our President on his web of lies.  READ
   

April, 2009

• You might think that 'Yes we can' is a great Obama slogan.  Well, it's so wonderful that Iranian President Ahmadinejad has made it his campaign phrase as well.  Don't you just feel all warm and fuzzy?!?  cite
   

• Air Force One and a couple of fighter jets were joy riding around New York City, scaring people into believing it was another 9/11 scenario.   Naturally, in an effort to protect his holy image, President Obama made sure to inform reporters that he only learned of the flying incident after it happened and had nothing to do with the decision.  Are you seeing it now?  The man is perfect even when he's not.
   

• Senator Arlen Specter has abandoned the Republican Party to join the Obama tax and spend revolution.  Isn't it wonderful when someone finally has the courage to come out of the closet?
   

• Captain Doublespeak has graced us with another verse of wisdom today, this time regarding the dangerous Swine Flu that has killed over 100 people.  (Please humble yourself with reverence before reading further.)  He spoketh, "There is reason to be concerned, but no reason to be alarmed."  Amen, brother.  Amen.
   

• Guess who had to borrow 360 billion dollars to pay its bills this quarter?  cite
   

• President Obama has reached his first 100 days in office and the left/media is mysteriously hailing it as a remarkable achievement.  I am reminded yet again that liberals measure success and ingenuity by tax dollars spent.
   

• Cultural fascism has displayed its ugly head yet again from the left.  This time a contestant in a beauty pageant didn't respond to a question in a politically correct way.  What did she say that was so terrible?  She said that marriage is something between a man and a woman.  How awful.  cite
  Horrible Person, Miss California
   

• Buds?
  
   

• Last week I attended a local Tea Party where like-minded individuals peacefully assembled out of growing concern for our expanding federal government, led by a "spread the wealth" neo-socialist.  The Tea Parties have been fervently rebuked by the left.  Janeane Garafolo has even declared us to be a collection of racists.  An advisor to the president said our gathering was "unhealthy".  Indeed, whenever people don't fall in line with cultural fascist, it's very unsettling to them.  cite
   

• The president has decided to release classified information about interrogation techniques the USA has used against captured terrorists.  Once again he wanted to show to the world, apparently, how horrible former President Bush was and how wonderful he is in contrast.  The techniques in question make Americans, fair-minded as we are, feel shameful.  But one wonders, how exactly would you go about extracting information from these prisoners of war, Mr. President, with a hug?
  
  I'll ask again, would someone please find out what team this guy is on???
   

• President Obama has declared that there are "glimmers of hope" in our economy.  I never knew that hope was an economic indicator, but I'll be sure to keep an eye out for its glimmers.  read
   

• The Obama White House continues its childish obsession of ridiculing former President Bush.  This time Vice President Biden made up a story that he personally scolded the former president on policy issues.  Since 'hope' is what this silly administration has been peddling, I hope that someday adults will run our country.  cite
   

• Great quote:  "I believe that our president wants to do the right thing. But he doesn't have a clue how. For now, he's enraptured by the applause."  Ahhh, sweet truth.  It shall set us free!  cite
   

• Mimicking President Bush, Obama made a surprise visit to troops in Iraq.  The visit has been met with glowing reviews from his fans.  Naturally this presented another opportunity for our strange President to double-talk.  He exclaimed to our heroic troops, "You have given Iraq the opportunity to stand on its own as a democratic country.  That is an extraordinary achievement."  Indeed it is, but no thanks to you, mister "No surge - I've been against the war since I was a child" Obama.
   

• An Exclusive message from Borat Obama:
  
  "My fellow Americans, as you know I recently decided to jack-up taxes on cigarettes, even though I promised there would be no new taxes on anyone with income less than 250K.  Let me put it this way, jackasses;  I want your fucking money!  I need your fucking money!  Get it?  We want as much fucking money as we can get and you're the first ass-wipe we're taking it from.  If you want to fucking smoke it's going to fucking cost you.  So fuck you and fuck your fucking fuckball cigarettes."
  
  "Thank you and God bless America!"
   

• A special message from the ladies on The View regarding Obama's triple-tax on cigarettes. 
  
  "Well... I think if it causes someone to stop smoking.... it's a gooooood thing!  Because people shouldn't smoooooke.  Smoking is baaaaaad!"
   

• "Daddy, when did America decide to become a socialist country?  Well junior, it just kind of arrived, like a thief in the night.  But I would say March of 2009 was the turning point."  It is here  
   

• President Obama needed to have a "Town Hall" meeting on March 26 to remind everyone again that he is not responsible for this poor economy.  In the meeting Barack was true to his odd self.  He exclaimed how every home should have a "smart meter" to monitor proper energy use.  He continued to say that part of the problem is that we don't have enough electricians to lay the cabling.
  
  Is this guy crazy?
   

• Oops!  Yet another slip of the tongue from Mr. Wonderful.  While on the Jay Leno program, where he played goo goo eyes with his fans, President Obama exclaimed that his bowling looked liked he was playing in the "Special Olympics"!
  
  I ask which is worse, a president who mistakenly used a silly (yet somehow understandable) term, "misunderestimated", or a juvenile smooth talker trying to impress his fans with a joke about the mentally challenged?   Way to go, Borat!
   

• Members of Congress are infuriated that one tenth of one percent of the money they gave to IAG will be used to fulfill contracts on executive salaries (evilly termed as "bonuses"!).  Why?  Socialist are strongly against disparity in payroll.  So when they threw 185 billion at the company, I guess they thought the employees would turn into a nice collection of middle class worker bees.  Who knew?
   

• Two weeks ago I predicted that we will see tax rates around 90% within our lifetime.  I never dreamed it would come so quickly.  More to come!
   

• President Obama to make an appearance on the Jay Leno program.  Perhaps he can finally inform America once and for all that he is not responsible for the economic troubles we are in!

February, 2009 (The Hope Spending Continues)

• Is Obama the Anti-Christ?
   

• Here are your choices, America:
   - Be a Kool-Aid drinker  (select)
   - Remove your "Yes We Can" bumper sticker  (select)
   

• Obama gave another one of his slight-of-hand speeches to America, this time in front of congress.  I think I'm finally understanding his plan.  Here it is:
   - Rescue
   - Stimulate
   - Jumpstart
   - Jolt
   - Cut
   - Trim
   - Raise
   - Spread
   - Print
   - Borrow
   - Sell
   - Lend
   - Spend
   - Invest
   - Shift
   - Regulate
   - Hope
   - I inherited this
   - Yes we can
   - Hope again
  
  Now, I might have left off a word or two, but be assured that if it sounds good he's using it!
   

• There IS hope in America!  A high school student was heard saying aloud while listening to an Obama speech, "I just don't believe all the things he is telling us."  cite
   

• President Obama's choice for Attorney General, Eric Holder, has declared that America is a 'nation of cowards' when it comes to matters of race.  cite
   

• New from Visa:  The "Obama Ultra Mega Giga Card!", where a trillion dollars is everywhere you want to be!  (disclaimer:  Mega fees apply.  Known to cause giddiness among liberals.)
   

• Is there anyone who actually believes the Obama "stimulus" plan would not exist even if the economy was normal?  We are witnessing unfettered liberalism in its glory.  Spend away boys!
   

• Last night President Obama pleaded with America to accept his trillion dollar spending plan.  But just to be clear, Mr. Obama, did you inherit this economic problem?  You weren't exactly clear about that.
   

• After Obama's opening remarks he fielded questions from the media.  Many of the reporters had tears in their eyes.  "You had me at 'hello'!"
   

• We now know why Obama kept saying, "Yes We Can!". 
  
  Mr. President, can we fund the banks?  "Yes we can!"
  Can we fund the auto industry?  "Yes we can!"
  Can we spend money to make Washington green?  "Yes we can!"
  Can we make children's toys?  "Yes we can!"
  Can we build a new...  "Yes we can!!!"
   

• February 6 was National Wear Red Day!  How appropriate.
   

• Obama then:  "We have... governed on fear, instead of a politics based upon hope." (Obama, 2007)
  
  Obama now:  If we don't pass my spending plan, "Our nation might sink deeper into a crisis that, at some point, we may not be able to reverse."  (Obama, 2008)
   

• President Obama has decided to limit salaries for CEO's who receive the bailout money that he has been pushing upon them.  "Mom, I'd like you to meet my new date!  His name is Sosh.  Sosh E Yism!"
  
  It's a sad day in America, indeed.
   

• I have figured out how to get the democrats to end support for Obama's spending splurge.  Simply change one of the lending institutions into a religious institution!  That would throw them off!
   

• You might have heard that Tom Daschle has declined a position in Obama's cabinet because he was delinquent on paying taxes.  While I could care less about Daschle's tax problems, I am very concerned about the ever expanding "Republican culture of corruption".  Apparently it is so bad it has once again rubbed off on Democrats!
   

• "They will spend your money and call themselves geniuses!" (a wise man)
   

January, 2009 (Happy New Year!  Feel the Hope!)

• Bruce Springsteen has signed a deal with Wal-Mart, giving the company exclusive rights to sell his greatest hits CD.  He now says this was a mistake, reminded by fans of supposed "poor labor practices" by the company.  I wonder how many of these fans actually work at Wal-Mart?  And if they're unhappy, why not try K-Mart?  cite
   

• In October of 2000 Al Qaeda attacked the USS Cole, killing 17 soldiers.  Yet, in the mad rush to shut down Guantanamo (I guess because it's haunted?) Obama has asked a military judge to delay the hearing of one the suspected attackers.  The good news is that the request was denied.  The bad news is that it was requested by our president.  cite
   

• Rush Limbaugh exclaimed that he would like to see Obama's presidency fail if it is to convert America to socialism.  The Democrat discipleship on Capital Hill considered this blasphemy.  They're mad!  cite
   

• President Obama is making good on his promise to have tea with our our international rivals, such as Iran.  Let's just call it the Rodney King Foreign Policy.  "Can't we all just get along?"
   

• With Obama in office for just one week, it has been an abortion lovers dream come true.  Ashley Judd, speaking at a pro-choice-it's-above-my-pay-grade-to-decide-if-a-fetus-is-a-human-being rally got so excited that she couldn't catch her breath.  She finally blurted, "It's so nice to live in America again!"  Well, that is, for those who get to live, Ashley.  link
   

• President Obama has given a stern warning to Republicans on Capital Hill, "Don't listen to Rush Limbaugh!"  Let me translate this for you:  "Turn around, my friends, and let me gently place this dagger into your back."  Oddly, the Republicans don't seem to mind.  "Here Mr. President, let me remove my shirt for you!"
   

• Grandma Nancy has found the solution to our economic downturn - Birth control!  She wants contraceptives to be a big part of the new economic stimulus spending splurge.  This reminded me of a pro-choice rally in which a liberal was heard yelling, "...put our uteruses in a lockbox and keep their hands off of them!"  It turns out that it's the Democrats who want inside your uterus!  We live in the age of paradox.
   

• Did you hear about this crook, Madoff, who accepted loads of money from senior citizens and in-turn promised them a massive return on their "investment"?  Remind you of someone?

Special Inaugural Day Needles!

• In case you have missed the "historic" inauguration coverage, let me summarize for you:
  
  The inauguration was, "Amazing, profound, extraordinary, unbelievable, momentous, remarkable, important, significant, outstanding, beautiful, heart-warming, graceful, gorgeous, eloquent, classy, profound, intelligent, penetrating, enlightened, thoughtful, traditional, peaceful, customary, united, hopeful, reaching, and inspirational."
  
  There you have it!
   

• My advice to Barack, "Quit!".
  
  It has been declared that your election has been among the most important and profound in history, right up there with Abe's.  Since your term has been so significant and extraordinary, even before taking office, why not quit while you're ahead so we can begin the work on Mt. Rushmore?
   

• Is the presidency of Barack Obama really "historical", as declared by the left/media?   What exactly does it mean to be "historical"?  Isn't every presidency historical?  What if Barack has a uneventful and bland term in office?  Wouldn't his election as the first black president then just be a "footnote"?
   

• You might have noticed a flub in Obama's oath of office, causing liberals to rush to his defense.  "It was Justice Roberts' fault!  It was Justice Roberts' fault!" 
  
  The flub went something like this, "I, Hussein Barack Obama, do solemnly swear to execute Saddam Hussein of the presidency for which it stands.  Further, I audaciously hope to uphold and defend the States United of The Constitution.  So God help me."
  
  Well, not quite that, but you get the picture.
   

• My favorite quote of the day:
  "I just can't believe we made it to the promised land"
   

• My Second favorite quote of the day:
  "On this day, we come to proclaim an end to... false promises,"

• Just a thought... While everyone is so excited that America has elected its first black president, has anyone bothered to ask what his politics are?  Does that matter anymore?
   

• Time Magazine is running with something fresh, something new, something exciting on the cover of its latest issue.  What could that be, you ask?  Why Barack Obama, of course (13th time in a year.  But who's counting?)
   

• Has it occurred to anyone that Barack hasn't yet taken office and has already, essentially, spent a trillion dollars above the normal budget?  It makes one wonder what else we're in store for.  Gee, I can't wait.
   

• As Barack roles out his glorious liberal vision of a trillion dollar spending splurge, many people have oddly characterized him as "Reagan like".  Have you ever wondered why I say we live in the age of paradox?
   

• Obama's tax and spend philosophy is apparently based upon the example of FDR's New Deal.  Yet some historians believe the New Deal was among the biggest myths in history.  What do you believe?  cite
   

• The tragic death of Jet, son of Kelly Preston and John Travolta, put the media into their usual tizzy.  They need to know if he died from a seizure or from hitting his head.  They also desperately want to make this a story about the flaws of Scientology.  I heard Matt Lauer pressing an expert, "When will know how he died?"  Here's a clue, Matt... Who cares?  This is a story of a family tragedy.  It's not some mystery for the media to solve.  Get over it.
   

• (Read below and replace "Bill Richardson" with "Blagojevich" or other suitable Democrat.)
   

• Once again America is reminded of the "Republican Culture of Corruption" that Nancy and gang has clamored so much about.  This time Governor Bill Richardson has decided to step down as Obama's Commerce Secretary due to an investigation.  Oh wait!  Richardson is a Democrat.
   

• In the last few days there has been an surge of hits on my video regarding Barack's plan for mandatory civil service.  Not sure why, but I'm glad word is getting out.  Watch
   

• CNN invited Kathy Griffin, one of the left's deepest thinkers, to co-host the New Year's eve broadcast with Anderson Cooper.  She demonstrated her "wit" and insight by blasting a heckler.  She said - on live tv - that she has never interrupted him working by pulling dicks out of his mouth.  Then she referred to Glenn Beck as a "crack addict Mormon".  But she redeemed herself, reminding us of her high liberal ethics, by insisting that Cooper refer to Bill Clinton as "President" Bill Clinton.   Good job, CNN, on such a fine choice. 

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